the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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