I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize