She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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