You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
