Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
