trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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