1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
