dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
