seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
