So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
