i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
