He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize