Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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