That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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