How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
