If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
