I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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