once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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