i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This baby is an asshole
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
