yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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