Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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