I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
