Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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