Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize