i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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