When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i think i just lost a toe
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
