Buhtt sex?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
