If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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