i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
