He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
