your parents love me but you hate me
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
