When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Vodka?
Forever.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
