where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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