i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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