Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
