We're like a lot better than the average bears
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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