Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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