While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
