roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the day after is always just damage control
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
