Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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