I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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