break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
