I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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