weddingsv make me drug and hornr
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
