That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
where am i from again
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
