i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
