Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
