why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
