I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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