At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
