Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
