I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize