Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
