If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize