my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
