all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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