I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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