so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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