he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
