FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
