I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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