pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so let's talk penis.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
