I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
