At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
