Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
