as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
COCAINE IS GR8
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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