Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
