He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize