you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
His nipple licking is glorious
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