You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
