You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
