Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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