so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
