I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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