How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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