ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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