Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
