Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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