Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
