Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
