in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
